Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize