We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
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I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize