I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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