What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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