Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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