that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
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I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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