did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize