Christians are straight up FREAKS
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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