my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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