I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize