He disabled his match.com account in front of me
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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