We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
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I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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