woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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