bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize