Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize