I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize