she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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