so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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