I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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