I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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