i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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