what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize