I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize