He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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