You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
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Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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