Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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