I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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