Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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