I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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