my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I need to sanitize my soul.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize