Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize