Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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