heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize