I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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