the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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