I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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