You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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