Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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