Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
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I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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