im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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