This is not my ceiling
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize