I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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