dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
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she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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