I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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