I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
