Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
dude. I can hear the air.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize