Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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