every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize