batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize