If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize